THE CHRISTIAN HOME

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what to DO when the wine turn sore;

His Grace, Most Revd. Ogbonaya Christian John, PhD
Archbishop, Orashi Archdiocese
Bishop, Ahoada Diocese


WHAT IS A CHRISTIAN HOME?
An ideal Christian Home is a place where the perfect standard life of Jesus Christ is in place. If the society will be a habitable place for people to live together in peace and harmony, it must begin from a Home.

LET’S THINK ABOUT CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE, MARRIAGE WAS GOD’S IDEA.
Let’s look at what makes Christian marriage and Christian Home.
  • What does it mean to be married, from God’s view point?
  • What is the duty of each member of the family
  • According to the Bible, what is each member to do in order to maintain a proper Christian perspective and responsibility as part of the family?
  • Let’s start where the Bible started it all, we call it “Marriage”.
  • Marriage is the only institution that has come down from the other side of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden, Gen. 2:21 – 25.
  • God ordained marriage before sin entered the world and intended for it to be the fullest, richest, and most joyous life on planet earth.
If it fails in being this, the fault is not in the institution itself but in those who entered into it carelessly and fail to fulfill its condition. Infact marriage is so important to God’s plan that He made a comparison in the book Ephesians between marriage and the Church.
“the Husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the Church, and He is the Saviour of the body, and therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let wives be to their own husband. Husbands love you wives even as Christ also loved the Church and gave himself for it; so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies, He that loveth his wife, loveth himself, Eph. 5:23 – 25 & 28.”

Expectation in Marriage varies in many ways, some get married for wrong motives such as; physical attraction, financial security, physical security, emotional stability, sexual compatibility, freedom from parents, escape from bad home, etc. sooner or later these motives will surface and will put the marriage in jeopardy. Each should be absolutely honest and open with each other before the Marriage. They should have liberty to ask questions whether they are social, spiritual, physical or anything that might be a part of the others past. Honesty will prevent future shocks that will save the marriage.
Infact every romantic relationship requires the test of time, as well as the test of an occasional separation. This is a foundational practice in determining God’s will.

Time apart will make the heart grow, either for the one you plan to marry or for someone else. Make sure your relationship has experienced the time test.
God planned for many of our individual needs to be met through marriage. The need for companionship, family, social acceptance, sexual intimacy and many other needs are met through marriage.
“for this (reason) cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined into his wife and these two shall become one flesh, Eph. 5:31”

  • God ordained Marriage for the comfort, happiness and well being of mankind. It is a part of God’s original plan.
  • It is not a relationship that evolved.
  • It is not custom into which man fell into during the early days of human race. It is not a mere
    arrangement or relationship that is temporary and manmade.
  • It is Divine origin as a part of God’s creation which God ordained to be lifelong commitment to each other.
“What God has joined together, let not man put asunder, Mark 10:9”

It is His ordained institution for man and woman to join in a physical and emotional relationship.
Commitment requires commitment from both sides.
  • Marriage is a bind that can only be dissolved by death.
  • The Ceremony is so focused on a covenant vows between two people who exchanged vows and pledge to each other to “Love, honour and cherish until death do us part”.
  • The Ceremony anticipates commitment exclusive of the future event regardless of what happens “for better or for worse, in sickness or in health, for riches or for poorer” these two people stand before God and form a covenant that only death can annul.

It is not difficult for us to think that the angels in heaven hush their songs and grow silent in wonder while holy vows are taken and two hearts and lives are thus, joined by Divine appointment.
A Ceremony so holy, so sacred, so filled with destiny that as a Christians, it should only be done in the presence of Christians who understands the sacredness of the occasion.
Let’s not be guilty of treating this Divine plan lightly.

WHAT IS TO BE EXPECTED OF THESE PEOPLE?
If marriage is to prove to them the Blessings God intended it to be, what must they have in their hearts? What will sustain this new relationship? Will there be any adjustments or conflict? Let’s consider some of these;
  • FLEXIBILITY AND UNDERSTANDING: Every Pastor of a Church knows the truth of this, when two lives are joined together, there is necessarily for a dashing of life against life. 

We all come from different backgrounds, families’ temperaments and personalities. Many adjustments must be made and each must have an understanding heart and mind to blend this relationship together.
The best way to make these adjustments is to frequently use the following eight words;
“I am sorry, Forgive me, I Love you”
“wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath, James 1:19”
  • DETERMINATION: Building a marriage relationship is not easy. There must be fewer thoughts of happiness and more thoughts of this simple, unadorned job of marriage.

Marriage is a commitment that we are to be through. We are to look before we leap and having leaped, we are to remain committed at the post of duty. There is never a marriage that could have possibly been a success or a marriage that could have been a failure. Your commitment made it what it is.
No one has a right to happiness unless he wins it be devotion, courage, self sacrifice. These three qualities, the happiness and joy God intended when two become one in Him through marriage.
“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God, Eph. 5:21”
  • POLITENESS AND COURTESY: After marriages how prone we are to drop the little amenities of life. the words “I LOVE YOU”, “I THANK GOD FOR YOU”, YOU ARE SPECIAL”, “YOU ARE A GIFT FROM GOD and other encouragements are used less frequently. The little thoughts of courtesies that mean so much to the heart and happiness of each other begin to diminish. The wife is often as neglectful in the matter as the Husband.
The point here is that these words and encouragements are necessary for the peace of the home. Make it a point that these refinements of manners towards one another be preserved. Our hearts are loving but not so loving that they can permanently withstand ugly treatment.
There are no hearts that hungers so passionately and thoughtful courtesy as the home hearts of married couples. Many marriages have been destroyed at this point.
“My Little children, let not live in words, neither in

tongue but in deed and truth, I John 3:18”
  • UNITY OF INTEREST: It is very easy thing for even that heats that love one another very dearly to drift apart. Before marriage you each did all you could to find out what the other person likes. Then you would be sure to provide for them. After marriage, the husband has his office, care, professional duties and daily toil; the wife also has hers. Often before either of them is aware, they have drifted apart and misunderstanding has become easy because interests are so far removed.

Now there are excellent ways to meet this contingence. We know a splendid man and his wife who have been almost over whiningly busy, each in his own line of work. However they have not allowed that to cause them grow apart. They read together, Each concerns themselves with problems and hopes of the other, They worship and pray together.
The years have knit them in a perfect union of wedded love. No man is so great as to be above concern about that which affects the interest of his wife. If he is unconcerned, it is not a sign of greatness but of folly and failure to care for the most priceless treasure that God has given him.

CONCLUSION:
In summary, when the family life becomes unpalatable it happened because something is not how it supposed to be or is misplaced and the only prescription for remedy or heading is;
  • Try to stay calm and go back to the Word of God.
  • Try to keep emotions aside and pray together.
  • Replace anger with Love, Care and Attention.
“God bless our homes in Jesus Name, Amen!...”

Location: 510101, Ahoada, Nigeria

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